Chick’s Corner: Giving AI To Jeep Wranglers? A Bad But Funny Idea

CHICKSCORNERREDDIT_1

Reddit is one of those sites that eventually becomes a timesuck. Like Chive or Facebook, the ease of going through pages and and finding interesting things is remarkable. One subreddit I found this week was /r/whowouldwin, a subreddit built around ridiculous yet fatal battles between bizarre participants.

Top posts on the subreddit reflect the overall silly theme, whether it’s an ancient Roman legion battling a horde of Lord of the Rings orcs, or a version of the Hulk where the comic book character is slippery instead of strong.

William James Sidis (1898-1944), with an estimated IQ of 250-300, would have been a peon to a Jeep with an IQ of 5,000.

One recent post that garnered lots of attention was equal parts head-scratching, ludicrous, and harrowing. It was this post, pitting four Adderall-affected men with indestructible shovels against a Jeep Wrangler.

The catch? Get this – the Wrangler has an IQ of 5,000. Discounting that IQ testing becomes speculative past a certain point, the mental prowess of this imaginary 4×4 would be something to behold. It’s just a shame that it wants to hurt humans, and therefore, must be defeated.

Outsmarting it certainly seems impossible. But is it? Reddit users had several theories, and they are all worth a read when you get the chance. Still, there are a few included here.

A super-smart Jeep versus shovel-toting dudes... let's see what happens!

A super-smart Jeep versus shovel-toting dudes… let’s see what happens!

Forgoing the absurdity that such an IQ is hardly measurable, let alone the complexities of how a Jeep with ultra-genius intellect could even exist, it’s a fun thought experiment. Several fellow Redditors thought so too, and decided to join in with some hilarious commentary.

Now, every scenario posted to WhoWouldWin has to have at least some semblance of rules. In this particular case, the rules dictated a 490 square-foot, soft-dirt arena with iron walls. The four dudes are not allowed to enter the Jeep or pierce its tires, but they are allowed to beat on it or try and flip it over, in which case, the men win. The Jeep, on the other hand, simply has to kill the puny humans. Also, the men get a 30-minute head start before the Wrangler is air-dropped into the arena.

There are a few more rules, but you get the gist: the men must defeat Jeep using shovels and normal smarts, or the Jeep must defeat men using horsepower and extreme smarts. So, how does this scenario play out?

In one scenario, the Jeep, which is air-dropped into the arena, is frustratingly dropped right into a hole the men had dug before its arrival.

In one scenario, the Jeep, which is air-dropped into the arena, is frustratingly dropped right into a hole the men had dug before its arrival.

The top response suggested that the men, if they knew exactly where the Jeep was to land, would be able to dig out a two-meter-deep hole and wait for the Jeep to drop into it and be trapped. Alternatively, if they didn’t know where the Jeep would land, then the Jeep would win the day and the guys would all die.

An even simpler suggestion was to have the four men stand where the Jeep was getting lowered. Once it got low enough, the men would hold up one end of the Jeep as the other end tilted downward, making it easier to flip.

In another scenario, the men stand where the Jeep is landing and flip it onto its back, or into a hole, rendering it defeated.

In another scenario, the men stand where the Jeep is landing and flip it onto its back, or into a hole, rendering it defeated.

Yet another suggestion was that with its unfathomable level of intelligence, the Jeep would “recognize the utter futility and horror of existence” and let the humans pummel it into the “sweet, sweet embrace of oblivion.”

But by far the best response was the one posted by legendaryBuffoon. He posited that the Jeep would rev its V6 to the point that it would match the resonant frequency of the iron walls, causing the arena to shake violently and disorient the dudes.

In yet another scenario, the Jeep has killed three of the guys using a high-pitched to rupture eardrums and cause disorientation. The last one is left alive to be driven insane by paranoia and loneliness.

In yet another scenario, the Jeep has killed three of the guys using a high-pitched to rupture eardrums and cause disorientation. The last one is left alive to be driven insane by paranoia and loneliness.

It would then use its horn at the frequency that “causes human eardrums to rupture, stunning and debilitating the already disoriented humans.” Three of the guys are killed off immediately, leaving the fourth to be slowly driven insane by weeks and months of seeing nothing but a parked Jeep in front of him. He ultimately dies from a stroke, and the Jeep shorts itself, its mission accomplished.

Who do you think would win? Drop down and leave a comment below.

About the author

David Chick

David Chick comes to us ready for adventure. With passions that span clean and fast Corvettes all the way to down and dirty off-road vehicles (just ask him about his dream Jurassic Park Explorer), David's eclectic tastes lend well to his multiple automotive writing passions.
Read My Articles

Everything Off Road in your inbox.

Build your own custom newsletter with the content you love from Off Road Xtreme, directly to your inbox, absolutely FREE!

Free WordPress Themes
Off Road Xtreme NEWSLETTER - SIGN UP FREE!

We will safeguard your e-mail and only send content you request.

Off Road Xtreme - The Off Road Magazine

ORX

We'll send you the most exciting Off Road articles, news, truck features, and videos every week.

Off Road Xtreme - The Off Road Magazine

Off Road Xtreme NEWSLETTER - SIGN UP FREE!

We will safeguard your e-mail and only send content you request.

Off Road Xtreme - The Off Road Magazine

ORX

Thank you for your subscription.

Subscribe to more FREE Online Magazines!

We think you might like...


Diesel Army
Diesel Army
Street Muscle Mag
Hot Rods & Muscle Cars
Engine Labs
Engine Tech

Off Road Xtreme - The Off Road Magazine

Thank you for your subscription.

Subscribe to more FREE Online Magazines!

We think you might like...

  • dieselarmy Diesel Army
  • streetmusclemag Hot Rods & Muscle Cars
  • enginelabs Engine Tech

Off Road Xtreme - The Off Road Magazine

ORX

Thank you for your subscription.

Thank you for your subscription.

Off Road Xtreme - The Off Road Magazine

Thank you for your subscription.

Thank you for your subscription.

Loading