Welcome to What The Truck, where we scour the information superhighway in search of odd, crazy, or awful-in-just-the-right-way off-road rigs. There are a lot out there, from the everglades of Florida to the wispy dunes of the Middle East.
We’re kicking it off with a Hummer H1. Dubbed the “Boss,” it was made by Parker Brothers Concepts in Cape Canaveral, Florida. Yes, the same place that NASA launches are made is where this automotive craziness came from.
The ad for it touts a working sim-fire .50-caliber machine gun, gullwing doors, six outboard cameras, leather seats and trim with suede diamond inserts, and winches on the front and rear bumpers. The outside is done up in a digital arctic camo pattern, and the windshield looks like a pain to have to peer out of. And don’t even get us started on the headlights.
It’s enough to make us gag, but after some of the rigs we’ve seen over the years, we have strong stomachs by now. And we have to admit, there is something cool about the raised roof with look-out glass. That’s about the only thing we’d like to see more of in builds.
Next up, we have a 1999 Ford E-450 van. Well, it used to be a van. We suppose it’s still a van, just with a pickup bed in the back. This one also has some fun camouflage going on, this time in a woodland pattern, and it doesn’t look half bad.
Under the hood, a stout 7.3-liter Power Stroke provides power to the rear wheels only. Just behind the shortened cab is the pickup bed, which spans 14 feet long; perfect for carrying your waterbed on those long, cold nights hunting elk.
The seller says he’s put a bunch of work in to maintain the van, including replacing the ball joints, brakes, driveshaft, and U-joints. He’s also slapped on some new Michelin tires, and updated the seats with custom covers. What’s more, the transmission has heavy-duty upgrades, so feel free to hitch a trailer up and take a vacation somewhere remote. If all else fails, you can just part it out to doomsday preppers and make a tidy sum.
But alas, the air conditioner is kaputt. A refrigerant leak is going on somewhere, and the seller can’t be bothered to figure out where or why.
With over 200,000 miles on the clock, the seller is asking $13,000 for it, so it’s definitely a better bang for the buck than the Hummer. Arguably, the Power Stroke has the edge in terms of ruggedness over the Detroit Diesel, too. But are either of these rigs truly worth taking home? Let us know what you think in the comments below.