You asked for it, and now you’ve got it: top-of-the-line theft deterrence in a Chevrolet motor vehicle. It calls to mind the days of the early Robocop films, the second of which featured a mock commercial as its opener.

Ouch.

Advertising the “Magnavolt,” the advert depicted a hooligan breaking into a Ford Probe only to become instantly shackled around his chest and legs and electrocuted, after which a friendly company representative appears onscreen to explain the virtues of Magnavolt, “the final word in auto security.”

Walking toward the driver door, he explains that there’s “no embarrassing alarm noise, no need to trouble the police,” then adding as he steps over the body of the dead perp, “and it won’t even run down your battery!”

While no company would have the good sense to try and install such a system in regular vehicles, the new 2015 Tahoe is nonetheless looking to be one of the most advanced in terms of theft deterrence and security, with a slew of new features to keep you and your SUV safe.

Included standard with the Tahoe are a steering column lock, preventing push-away/tow-away theft; side cut keys that block lock picking; and tougher door lock cylinders to bar the use of slim-jims and other such tools.

Third-row seats are now bolted down to the floor, but can still fold down to create space. And if you consider forking over a bit more for the LT and LTZ models, you’ll get the primo Theft Protection Package, which installs dozens of sensors to monitor the state of the glass, interior motion, and even gyroscopic orientation (lifting off the ground, being pushed up a ramp, et cetera).

Add to all this the omnipresent angel that is OnStar, which can remotely disable the engine of a stolen GM vehicle, alert the authorities, and lock the doors to prevent the perp from escaping, and it’s safe to say that stealing the upcoming Tahoe will be like a porcupine to a snake–unattractive, harmful, and not worth the effort.